I share this with you from a place of gratitude.

The last couple of years I have been deep diving into an entirely new healing journey to do with experiencing nerve damage and specifically the sciatic nerve. The Pain Body is strong, it is real and it is felt. I wish to send compassion to those who have never felt debilitating pain in their bodies, to be gentle, to be kind, to be caring to those in your life who tell you of their sufferings. Below I will share my personal journey which has been the past 10 years of living with lower back pain & sciatica for the last 2. 

I’ll begin with the first time I hurt my back age 8, flying off a high swing onto a concrete ground which damaged my Coccyx. I had a series of cranial sacral sessions and we thought that was that. I then hurt myself again severely aged 22 at work, carrying heavy loads of fabric rolls over my shoulders when I worked in fashion. I compressed my spine until my disc began to bulge and the pain soared. From this point on every now and then my back would ‘flare up’ at times of stress and that was that. I had ‘injured myself for life’ and this was something I would have to learn to live with. My self worth plummeted and I began to feel cursed.

I visited multiple osteopaths who would ‘put me back into place’, receive countless acupuncture sessions to ‘re-ground me’ and so on and so forth. It would help for a certain time but I knew this wasn’t it. I wanted to live a life pain and worry free. From doing the IQM now I understand how much residual trauma and memory of that trauma I carried with me everywhere. It felt like a painful secret that no-one understood as you couldn’t see the damage. I am now 32 years old and can say that I have lived with back pain for what seems most of my adult life. The moments of freedom from the pain are what I would call, Bliss Absolute.

The first time I experienced sciatic nerve pain was a sad moment as I knew the body’s anatomy well enough, to know that this meant my Lumbar 4-5 disc was deteriorating. I woke up one morning breathless to an invisible explosion down my left leg. The disc had ruptured and all I could feel were shards of glass moving up and down my body as though being scratched by a needle and then being lit on fire . There was absolutely no respite, not one minute for a year. It truly was the most painful thing I have ever felt. It has been what they call - a process - for sure. I write about this now from a place of deep healing and exploration through many different modalities, which eventually lead me to The Emotion Code.

Sciatica is a type of indescribable pain that manifests as a sharp shooting pain. I couldn't sit down in any position, I would either have to stand or lie down flat- without the pain easing. Sleep was a far away idea. I have never spent so much time resting upon the Earth and this was a deep medicine for me. On my belly. breathing into my back. Speaking with her, communicating and asking how I can support her. Now, I have so much more compassion and understanding for others in constant pain and it has enabled me to be a better person and teacher. Being able to drive again, to take a bath, to go on a walk is incredibly humbling and I feel a new gratitude for my life and where I am living in Ibiza, surrounded by Mother Nature. 

This last year has been a total re-set for me both physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally but also creatively. I feel able to be of service with so much love and a willingness to learn all over again. Going from having a very strong physical yoga practise where my sun salutes, inversions and balances were my daily ritual, I had to let go of my old ways and embrace where my body was at. Total rest needed. Nervous system healing, somatic enquiries and deeply restorative shapes only. And of course, the addition of my weekly 4 hour Emotion Code session helped to support me (click here to read more about this). As I became stronger I started focussing on restructuring my entire fascia system from the inside out. Thriving through this experience has been a challenge and I still today experience set backs, but I am so aware of minute changes within my body map that I am better able to slow down, rest and reconnect.

My wish is to create a safe and nourishing space for others who are going through similar trauma. Please know that you are not alone and my invitation is extended to you.

Thank you for being here with me. 

All my love.